The interior of our apartment
Since wala pa ko sa states, I just want our apartment to look like this: (Love, im sure u gonna tell me this again, "Wer not rich!") ... i know... hehehe!
THE LIVING ROOM
Ayos di ba.. very relaxing! Pwede for informal and formal gatherings. Very cozy. Khet wala na ung plant sa side. Ganda ng lighting and color ng walls. Khet nga wala ng lampshade eh... Tama lang ung size ng centertable.
THE DINING ROOM
Since wer still starting, eto muna ung style ng aming dining area... less furnitures, thou d naman boring kumain.. and besides d ko type ung mga madaming gamit sa dining.
THE MASTERS BEDROOM
At sympre pa, ang aming lovely bedroom... lovely kse dito kme maglalabing-labing.. nyahahaha! ang corny!!! Ang sarap mahiga dito no! May curtains pa, pero khet wala na yan. Feeling ko super lambot ng bed and pillows at madali ako makakatulog!
Wala akong style ng bathroom and kitchen, since konti lang naman ang mga ilalagay don.. at sympre, pagtira naman nmen don e ayos na un.. d n namen pwede galawin pa.
THE LIVING ROOMAyos di ba.. very relaxing! Pwede for informal and formal gatherings. Very cozy. Khet wala na ung plant sa side. Ganda ng lighting and color ng walls. Khet nga wala ng lampshade eh... Tama lang ung size ng centertable.
THE DINING ROOMSince wer still starting, eto muna ung style ng aming dining area... less furnitures, thou d naman boring kumain.. and besides d ko type ung mga madaming gamit sa dining.
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THE MASTERS BEDROOMAt sympre pa, ang aming lovely bedroom... lovely kse dito kme maglalabing-labing.. nyahahaha! ang corny!!! Ang sarap mahiga dito no! May curtains pa, pero khet wala na yan. Feeling ko super lambot ng bed and pillows at madali ako makakatulog!
Wala akong style ng bathroom and kitchen, since konti lang naman ang mga ilalagay don.. at sympre, pagtira naman nmen don e ayos na un.. d n namen pwede galawin pa.
Friday, July 28, 2006,6:39 AM
Half a year...
Its already been 6 months when we got married. The days went so fast. For the last 5 months, even if we're far apart, we've discovered some things in one another, postive or negative. But nevertheless, we're very much happy and excited to be together again.Happy 6th monthsary, LOVE! I Love You So Much! Missing You Always! Mwah! :)
Tuesday, July 25, 2006,7:55 AM
Blogger problem
Kainis naman ung blogger.... im having a hard time to post... gggrrrrr!!!! ung mga pix na dapat kong ipost, d ma-post! linchak tlga!!! Ilang araw na kyang sira!!! kailangan magreklamo sa kinauukulan!!!!
Thursday, July 20, 2006,10:37 AM
19 Secrets to a happy marriage
As usual, mga mega tips na naman ito.. ay wish ko lang khet isa dito maapply ko... in the future! and i hope this helps sa inyo... sa mga pinagpopost ko dito.. feeling ko marriage counselor na ko.. nyahaha! bagong karir ito!
1. Don't change him, change you
If only he would help with the laundry. If only he would flirt with me more. Every time I thought like this, I became frustrated. Making a list of things for him to change rendered me completely powerless. So I decided to change what I did. Now when my husband runs out of clean shirts, I simply say, "Want me to show you how to run the washer?" And when I flirt with him first, he flirts right back.
2. Play by his rules (sometimes)
I used to think it was manipulative and antifeminist when women would heap praise on their husbands and then ask for their help. I didn't want to trick my husband; I wanted us to be equals. Now I know that communicating with a man ‑- especially my man ‑- in a way that makes him feel good isn't the same as playing games. When he does the same for me, I don't feel undermined, but understood and appreciated.
3. Survey your inner landscape.
Whatever else I changed in my life ‑- a new neighborhood, a bigger house, even a different marriage ‑- there was always one constant: me. Once or twice, I made a big change, like getting a new job or ending a relationship, only to discover that the frustrations in my life hadn't evaporated. What really needed tailoring was me: my attitudes, my thinking, my capacity to feel satisfied. A change can widen your horizons and get you excited about life again. Sometimes, though, the improvement should be internal.
4. Stay in the driver's seat.
Remember that you're in control of your life. In my first marriage, I didn't feel very sexy or polished. The minute the divorce was final, I decided to transform myself into who I really wanted to be. But the divorce wasn't responsible for my sudden makeover. I did that all by myself. So I could have done it while I was married, too.
5. Talk about the good and the bad.
Arguments with my husband used to scare me. If we were so in love, how could we disagree so passionately? But over the years, I've had arguments that have dramatically boosted the level of intimacy between my mate and me. Sometimes understanding comes quietly during a sweet moment. Other times it strikes like a bolt of lightning, when he suddenly yells what he's been afraid to say, and I finally know what's bothering him.
6. Be your own spin doctor.
When I bring up past wrongs, I still think they need to be righted. A man just thinks he's being raked over the coals again. Before bringing up old business, I try to use a positive approach: "Remember when we talked before about spending less money? Have you thought any more about that? I'd like to hear what you think." That usually works better than a surprise attack.
7. Talk less, do more.
I talk too much. You probably do, too. For women, conversation is how we solve problems. We like to talk. Most men like to do. Thinking back, I probably talked a few issues right into the ground. I've found that whenever I replace talk with action, I have greater success. Instead of telling him you want a long, delicious good-bye kiss, grab his lapels and show him!
8. Love the flaws.
A husband is there for every grumpy morning, every bad-hair day and every time you lose a wrestling match with your panty hose. This used to seem unglamorous to me, like the bloom fading off the rose. Now I see a deeper love in the day-to-day existence. Anyone can carry on a grand passion from a distance. It takes a real lover to adore a human being, warts and all.
9. Realize that men are the same.
It's not just your husband. After four fellas, I can reliably state that no man believes his wife when she hears a noise at night, thinks there are mice in the house or knows the directions to an out-of-town retreat. Sorry.
10. Realize that men are different.
No man wants to be blamed for mistakes some other guy made. A husband deserves the benefit of the doubt and to be appreciated for his own unique gifts and contributions.
11. Ignore the small stuff.
Sharing living quarters is tough, whether your roomie is a friend or a husband. Everyone has an opinion about where to keep the butter and which brand of mustard to buy. I used to think my husband had to agree with me or else he didn't love me. Now I just buy both kinds of mustard.
12. Choose your big battles wisely.
In each marriage, my husband and I had some unspoken agreement in which we picked the issues we would disagree over. We returned again and again to the same unresolved arguments. I finally realized I was choosing to fight these fights. Now I agree to disagree and drop the topic. He doesn't see it my way? So what. Those differences don't mean we're not in love.
13. Set yourself free.
Whenever I felt backed into a corner, I wanted to blame my husband for making me feel trapped. But the truth was that most traps were of my own invention. I wanted us to move, but I didn't want the kids to switch schools. I wanted to go back to work, but I didn't want to put the kids into day care. Now whenever I feel trapped, I list my options. It takes some looking sometimes, but I can always find alternatives that make me feel like I have choices.
14. Don't play Freud.
Just because I understood every psychological nuance of my husband's actions didn't mean he was longing for me to explain them. In fact, when I tried to, our arguments grew more heated. It took me a while to learn that even if I had some insight, I shouldn't automatically play therapist. Instead, I learned to use any understanding I'd gained to empathize with him.
15. Don't take love for granted.
Sexual attraction and deep love are powerful, but they are also delicate. When a relationship gets bumped, by broken vows or thoughtless actions, it can bruise. Sometimes I wanted to return to the way I felt right before a rift occurred, but I couldn't always find my way back. I realize now that long-term love deserves the same gentle respect as a brand-new crush.
16. Don't confuse dating with marriage.
I once thought that I could predict what marriage to a particular man would be like. In retrospect, I know that only living together, day after day, will show you what being married to that man is really like. But by then if you learn it won't work, it's too late. Maybe the solution is to skip the dinner date (how realistic a trial run of marriage is that?) and instead take a five-hour car trip in sweltering heat with a bad map and three crying kids in the backseat. By the time you reach Topeka, you'll know if you could live with the guy or not.
17. Stop finger-pointing.
One of my husbands was a great blame-assigner. Never mind the problem, whose fault was it? I didn't care who did it; I just wanted a solution. We went round and round until I tried something new. One day I reassured him at the beginning of a discussion that he was not to blame; I just needed to talk with him and get his valuable input. His scowl lightened, his mood lifted, and he began to solve problems with me, like a partner.
18. Handle his ego with care.
Even when my tone was sweet and my message loving, each husband was quick to feel criticized. For years, I could not believe that a simple request to rinse the dishes before loading them in the dishwasher could truly wound a big, tough guy. Yet the evidence was right there in front of me: He'd rinse, pout and never rinse a dish again. Men want to be perfect ‑- just the way they are ‑- so any request to do things differently can be interpreted as criticism, even if you don't mean it that way. Instead, I've learned to talk about the problem rather than his actions. Not "When you don't rinse, the dishes stay dirty," but "I notice the dishes aren't getting very clean. Do you think it's the soap, or the dishwasher, or...?" He'll jump in and suggest rinsing them first.
19. Flirt, flirt, flirt.
A girl at school told my son he was "hot biscuits." My husband said rather wistfully, "I wish someone would tell me that!" Men love being adored, and it's fun to adore your man. Sneak your hand into his at a party. Whisper a sexy thought in his ear. Or just tell him that, to you, he's hot biscuits.
1. Don't change him, change you
If only he would help with the laundry. If only he would flirt with me more. Every time I thought like this, I became frustrated. Making a list of things for him to change rendered me completely powerless. So I decided to change what I did. Now when my husband runs out of clean shirts, I simply say, "Want me to show you how to run the washer?" And when I flirt with him first, he flirts right back.
2. Play by his rules (sometimes)
I used to think it was manipulative and antifeminist when women would heap praise on their husbands and then ask for their help. I didn't want to trick my husband; I wanted us to be equals. Now I know that communicating with a man ‑- especially my man ‑- in a way that makes him feel good isn't the same as playing games. When he does the same for me, I don't feel undermined, but understood and appreciated.
3. Survey your inner landscape.
Whatever else I changed in my life ‑- a new neighborhood, a bigger house, even a different marriage ‑- there was always one constant: me. Once or twice, I made a big change, like getting a new job or ending a relationship, only to discover that the frustrations in my life hadn't evaporated. What really needed tailoring was me: my attitudes, my thinking, my capacity to feel satisfied. A change can widen your horizons and get you excited about life again. Sometimes, though, the improvement should be internal.
4. Stay in the driver's seat.
Remember that you're in control of your life. In my first marriage, I didn't feel very sexy or polished. The minute the divorce was final, I decided to transform myself into who I really wanted to be. But the divorce wasn't responsible for my sudden makeover. I did that all by myself. So I could have done it while I was married, too.
5. Talk about the good and the bad.
Arguments with my husband used to scare me. If we were so in love, how could we disagree so passionately? But over the years, I've had arguments that have dramatically boosted the level of intimacy between my mate and me. Sometimes understanding comes quietly during a sweet moment. Other times it strikes like a bolt of lightning, when he suddenly yells what he's been afraid to say, and I finally know what's bothering him.
6. Be your own spin doctor.
When I bring up past wrongs, I still think they need to be righted. A man just thinks he's being raked over the coals again. Before bringing up old business, I try to use a positive approach: "Remember when we talked before about spending less money? Have you thought any more about that? I'd like to hear what you think." That usually works better than a surprise attack.
7. Talk less, do more.
I talk too much. You probably do, too. For women, conversation is how we solve problems. We like to talk. Most men like to do. Thinking back, I probably talked a few issues right into the ground. I've found that whenever I replace talk with action, I have greater success. Instead of telling him you want a long, delicious good-bye kiss, grab his lapels and show him!
8. Love the flaws.
A husband is there for every grumpy morning, every bad-hair day and every time you lose a wrestling match with your panty hose. This used to seem unglamorous to me, like the bloom fading off the rose. Now I see a deeper love in the day-to-day existence. Anyone can carry on a grand passion from a distance. It takes a real lover to adore a human being, warts and all.
9. Realize that men are the same.
It's not just your husband. After four fellas, I can reliably state that no man believes his wife when she hears a noise at night, thinks there are mice in the house or knows the directions to an out-of-town retreat. Sorry.
10. Realize that men are different.
No man wants to be blamed for mistakes some other guy made. A husband deserves the benefit of the doubt and to be appreciated for his own unique gifts and contributions.
11. Ignore the small stuff.
Sharing living quarters is tough, whether your roomie is a friend or a husband. Everyone has an opinion about where to keep the butter and which brand of mustard to buy. I used to think my husband had to agree with me or else he didn't love me. Now I just buy both kinds of mustard.
12. Choose your big battles wisely.
In each marriage, my husband and I had some unspoken agreement in which we picked the issues we would disagree over. We returned again and again to the same unresolved arguments. I finally realized I was choosing to fight these fights. Now I agree to disagree and drop the topic. He doesn't see it my way? So what. Those differences don't mean we're not in love.
13. Set yourself free.
Whenever I felt backed into a corner, I wanted to blame my husband for making me feel trapped. But the truth was that most traps were of my own invention. I wanted us to move, but I didn't want the kids to switch schools. I wanted to go back to work, but I didn't want to put the kids into day care. Now whenever I feel trapped, I list my options. It takes some looking sometimes, but I can always find alternatives that make me feel like I have choices.
14. Don't play Freud.
Just because I understood every psychological nuance of my husband's actions didn't mean he was longing for me to explain them. In fact, when I tried to, our arguments grew more heated. It took me a while to learn that even if I had some insight, I shouldn't automatically play therapist. Instead, I learned to use any understanding I'd gained to empathize with him.
15. Don't take love for granted.
Sexual attraction and deep love are powerful, but they are also delicate. When a relationship gets bumped, by broken vows or thoughtless actions, it can bruise. Sometimes I wanted to return to the way I felt right before a rift occurred, but I couldn't always find my way back. I realize now that long-term love deserves the same gentle respect as a brand-new crush.
16. Don't confuse dating with marriage.
I once thought that I could predict what marriage to a particular man would be like. In retrospect, I know that only living together, day after day, will show you what being married to that man is really like. But by then if you learn it won't work, it's too late. Maybe the solution is to skip the dinner date (how realistic a trial run of marriage is that?) and instead take a five-hour car trip in sweltering heat with a bad map and three crying kids in the backseat. By the time you reach Topeka, you'll know if you could live with the guy or not.
17. Stop finger-pointing.
One of my husbands was a great blame-assigner. Never mind the problem, whose fault was it? I didn't care who did it; I just wanted a solution. We went round and round until I tried something new. One day I reassured him at the beginning of a discussion that he was not to blame; I just needed to talk with him and get his valuable input. His scowl lightened, his mood lifted, and he began to solve problems with me, like a partner.
18. Handle his ego with care.
Even when my tone was sweet and my message loving, each husband was quick to feel criticized. For years, I could not believe that a simple request to rinse the dishes before loading them in the dishwasher could truly wound a big, tough guy. Yet the evidence was right there in front of me: He'd rinse, pout and never rinse a dish again. Men want to be perfect ‑- just the way they are ‑- so any request to do things differently can be interpreted as criticism, even if you don't mean it that way. Instead, I've learned to talk about the problem rather than his actions. Not "When you don't rinse, the dishes stay dirty," but "I notice the dishes aren't getting very clean. Do you think it's the soap, or the dishwasher, or...?" He'll jump in and suggest rinsing them first.
19. Flirt, flirt, flirt.
A girl at school told my son he was "hot biscuits." My husband said rather wistfully, "I wish someone would tell me that!" Men love being adored, and it's fun to adore your man. Sneak your hand into his at a party. Whisper a sexy thought in his ear. Or just tell him that, to you, he's hot biscuits.
Sunday, July 16, 2006,9:05 AM
10 Commandments of Love
- Put your spouse before your mother, your father, your son and your daughter--your mate is your lifelong companion.
- Do not abuse your body with excessive food, tobacco, drink or any foreign substance that goes into your arm or up your nose.
- Remember the cleanliness is a virtue.
- Willingly share all your worldly goods with your mate.
- Do not forget to say "I LOVE YOU" even though your love may be constant, your spouse needs to hear those cherished words often.
- Remember that the approval of your spouse is worth far more than the adoring glances of a hundered strangers, so be true to them and forsake all others.
- Permit neither your business nor your hobby to make you a stranger to your spouse. The most precious gift you can give is time!
- Keep your home in good repair, because out of it comes the joys of old age (not to mention it's resale value).
- Forgive with grace, because who amongst us does not need to be forgiven?
- Take these commandments to heart, and your children will grow up to bless you...
Friday, July 14, 2006,8:55 AM
Notice of Action
Yahooo.... Nikky received this notice of action... what does it mean??? it means.. wla lang! joke! it means tlgang napprocess na ang aking papers, at fly fly america na ang byuti ko! Medyo late na nga 'tong post ko, kse last June pa nya narecieve 'to... d naman masyadong excited si Nikky at tlgang ngyon lang nya naalala na ipadala sken 'to... my gudness!!! thou sinabi na nya sken.. hayyy... konting tiis na lang... darating din tyo jan... sisigaw na lang ako ng "america.. here i come!" nyahaha! ooopppsss, sana d mausog.. hehehe.. more step to go!
Tuesday, July 11, 2006,8:07 AM
Pork pineapple or Pineapple pork?
Nikky emailed me, he saw the pix i posted... ang daming corrections... pero natawa naman sya mga nilagay ko...
- Picture # 1 - Its not potatoes... its pineapple pla... aba malay ko!!! He took out the bones of the pork, na akala ko e nilaga! nyahaha! e kse di ba meron potatoes ang nilaga?? nyahaha!!!
- Picture # 2 - Its not nuggets... its honey barbeque chicken... ay naku.. malay ko rin.. e sa gnyan ang mga box ng chicken nuggets dito eh... nyahaha!
- Picture # 3 - ung ps2 daw nya e nandon sa may DVD... san un... d ko rin alam... ayayayaay!
Monday, July 10, 2006,9:20 AM
Finally... our new apartment
Nikky already lives here! He moved in last July 1. He celebrated his birthday in our new place. Medyo d clear ung mga pix since he just used a celfone cam. Na sken kse ung digicam eh... nyahaha! Ung mga captions ako na lang naglagay non.. Sa kitchen muna tyo...
He cooked this... ano 'to? malay ko!
He's fave breakfast...
As of now yan lang muna laman ng ref namen.. malamang d pa sya nakakapag-grocery... hehehe...
Other side of the wall
That doggie there... before Nikky has a puppy, a Siberian Husky (tama ba spelling ko??).. but he have to send it back to the owner since d nila kayang alagaan... he cried! as of now makontento muna sya sa stuff toy! heheeh!
Feeling ni Nikky isa syang japanese at wala syang kama... actually sa house tlga nila, since sa attic ung room nya, no need for a kama... kutchon ayos na! actually mas gusto nga nya un...
As of now, e jan muna sya... since wala pa ko... ung room, d na nya kinuhaan ng pic since walang laman...
eto ang mga kalat nya este ang kanyang buhay! kulang pa yan.... and there's the 2 bears i gave him... and he gave me a big as in ung malaking teddy bear... ang weird kse nag-exchange stuff kme sa mismong store! natawa nga smen ung mga sales lady eh... i think that was year 2002. i really love that hugging bear.. i saw that on tv.. sabi ko i wanna buy that... ung malaki kya lang d magkakasya sa luggage ni Nikky... aliw!!!
He cooked this... ano 'to? malay ko!
He's fave breakfast...
As of now yan lang muna laman ng ref namen.. malamang d pa sya nakakapag-grocery... hehehe...
Other side of the wall
That doggie there... before Nikky has a puppy, a Siberian Husky (tama ba spelling ko??).. but he have to send it back to the owner since d nila kayang alagaan... he cried! as of now makontento muna sya sa stuff toy! heheeh!
Feeling ni Nikky isa syang japanese at wala syang kama... actually sa house tlga nila, since sa attic ung room nya, no need for a kama... kutchon ayos na! actually mas gusto nga nya un...
As of now, e jan muna sya... since wala pa ko... ung room, d na nya kinuhaan ng pic since walang laman...
eto ang mga kalat nya este ang kanyang buhay! kulang pa yan.... and there's the 2 bears i gave him... and he gave me a big as in ung malaking teddy bear... ang weird kse nag-exchange stuff kme sa mismong store! natawa nga smen ung mga sales lady eh... i think that was year 2002. i really love that hugging bear.. i saw that on tv.. sabi ko i wanna buy that... ung malaki kya lang d magkakasya sa luggage ni Nikky... aliw!!!
Friday, July 07, 2006,12:12 AM
46 Clues Your Partner is Having an Affair
I found this article, wala lang... d naman ako dudera no! i believe my instinct! gusto ko lang ipost bket ba... d naman ako defensive no! nyahaha! e sympre not all times kailangan good article ang ilalagay ko dito... at super explain pa ko ah! cge eto na nga...
Some of these are "tongue in cheek" while others are tell tale signs that commonly appear when someone is having an affair. There is no copyright. Feel free to forward to those who might be interested.
1) You find birth-control pills in her medicine cabinet, and you've had a vasectomy.
2) Mutual friends start acting strangely toward you. (They either know about the cheating or have been told stories about what a horrible wife or girlfriend you are.)
3) He stops confiding in you and seeking advice from you.
4) Sets up a new e-mail account and doesn't tell you about it.
5) He leaves the house in the morning smelling like Irish Spring and returns in the evening smelling like Safeguard.
6) She joins the gym and begins a rigorous workout program.
7) She buys a cell phone and doesn't let you know.
8) He sets up a separate cell phone account that is billed to his office.
9) He carries condoms, and you are on the pill.
10) Begins to delete all incoming phone calls from the caller ID.
11) Deletes all incoming e-mails when they used to accumulate.
12) He becomes "accusatory," asking if you are being true to him, usually out of guilt.
13) Raises hypothetical questions such as, "Do you think it's possible to love more than one person at a time?"
14) He buys himself new underwear..
15) He insists the child seat, toys, etc., are kept out of his car.
16) She stops wearing her wedding ring.
17) Has a sudden desire to be helpful with the laundry.
18) Has unexplained scratches or bruises on his or her neck or back.
19) Suddenly wants to try new love techniques.
20) He/she fairly suddenly stops having sex with you.
21) He/she suddenly wants more sex, more often.
22) Supposedly works a lot of overtime, but it never shows up on the pay stub.
23) Picks fights in order to stomp out of the house.
24) You find out by accident he or she took vacation day or personal time off from work - but supposedly worked on those days.
25) Shows a sudden interest in a different type of music.
26) Spouse's co-workers are uncomfortable in your presence.
27) Has a sudden preoccupation with his or her appearance.
28) Spends an excessive amount of time on the computer, especially after you have gone to bed.
29) He throws up a lot because he just ate at his mistress's house and had to eat the dinner I prepared when he got home.
30) Your spouse is away from home, either nights or on trips, more than previously.
31) His/her clothes smell of an unfamiliar perfume or after-shave. You see lipstick on your husband's shirt.
32) The amount of money being deposited into your checking account drops off.
33) You find items of intimate apparel or other small gift-type items that you did not give your spouse.
34) Your spouse seems less comfortable around you and is "touchy" and easily moved to anger.
35) You get calls where the caller hangs up when he or she hears your voice.
36) He/she loses attention in the activities in the home.
37) Your intuition (gut feeling) tells you that something is not right.
38) He/she has a definite change in attitude towards everyone in the home.
39) She uses a low voice or whisper on the phone or hangs up quickly.
40) She has a "glow" about her.
41) Atypical erratic behavior.
42) He sneaks out of the house.
43) She sleeps with her purse by the bed
44) She goes to the store for groceries and comes home 5 hours later.
45) He tells you can get hold of him at a different telephone number.
46) The telltale sign of a cheating spouse? Having to ask that question in the first place.
Some of these are "tongue in cheek" while others are tell tale signs that commonly appear when someone is having an affair. There is no copyright. Feel free to forward to those who might be interested.
1) You find birth-control pills in her medicine cabinet, and you've had a vasectomy.
2) Mutual friends start acting strangely toward you. (They either know about the cheating or have been told stories about what a horrible wife or girlfriend you are.)
3) He stops confiding in you and seeking advice from you.
4) Sets up a new e-mail account and doesn't tell you about it.
5) He leaves the house in the morning smelling like Irish Spring and returns in the evening smelling like Safeguard.
6) She joins the gym and begins a rigorous workout program.
7) She buys a cell phone and doesn't let you know.
8) He sets up a separate cell phone account that is billed to his office.
9) He carries condoms, and you are on the pill.
10) Begins to delete all incoming phone calls from the caller ID.
11) Deletes all incoming e-mails when they used to accumulate.
12) He becomes "accusatory," asking if you are being true to him, usually out of guilt.
13) Raises hypothetical questions such as, "Do you think it's possible to love more than one person at a time?"
14) He buys himself new underwear..
15) He insists the child seat, toys, etc., are kept out of his car.
16) She stops wearing her wedding ring.
17) Has a sudden desire to be helpful with the laundry.
18) Has unexplained scratches or bruises on his or her neck or back.
19) Suddenly wants to try new love techniques.
20) He/she fairly suddenly stops having sex with you.
21) He/she suddenly wants more sex, more often.
22) Supposedly works a lot of overtime, but it never shows up on the pay stub.
23) Picks fights in order to stomp out of the house.
24) You find out by accident he or she took vacation day or personal time off from work - but supposedly worked on those days.
25) Shows a sudden interest in a different type of music.
26) Spouse's co-workers are uncomfortable in your presence.
27) Has a sudden preoccupation with his or her appearance.
28) Spends an excessive amount of time on the computer, especially after you have gone to bed.
29) He throws up a lot because he just ate at his mistress's house and had to eat the dinner I prepared when he got home.
30) Your spouse is away from home, either nights or on trips, more than previously.
31) His/her clothes smell of an unfamiliar perfume or after-shave. You see lipstick on your husband's shirt.
32) The amount of money being deposited into your checking account drops off.
33) You find items of intimate apparel or other small gift-type items that you did not give your spouse.
34) Your spouse seems less comfortable around you and is "touchy" and easily moved to anger.
35) You get calls where the caller hangs up when he or she hears your voice.
36) He/she loses attention in the activities in the home.
37) Your intuition (gut feeling) tells you that something is not right.
38) He/she has a definite change in attitude towards everyone in the home.
39) She uses a low voice or whisper on the phone or hangs up quickly.
40) She has a "glow" about her.
41) Atypical erratic behavior.
42) He sneaks out of the house.
43) She sleeps with her purse by the bed
44) She goes to the store for groceries and comes home 5 hours later.
45) He tells you can get hold of him at a different telephone number.
46) The telltale sign of a cheating spouse? Having to ask that question in the first place.
Thursday, July 06, 2006,7:33 AM
Adjustment Tips for a Good Marriage
Research has shown that partners of successful marriages make some definite changes in their outlook. It helps them to maintain a marriage, confront the changes and have a happy time together. Here are a few things you might adapt in your own married life to make a change for the better.At the very outset be aware that you are starting a new life separate from the family you have had so far. You don’t have to distance yourself from your family, but the new family you are starting is definitely not an extension of your parental family. Expect the life values and experiences to be different.
Have room for intimacy and identity as well as each other’s space and identity.
Put in the work for a pleasurable and loving sexual relationship. Do not allow intrusions from workplace and your extended family.
Know that the arrival of children is going to make a difference in your marriage. Be prepared for this, so that you are giving the best to your children as well as your togetherness as a couple.
Life is not always a pleasure ride. Confront the crises and have trust in each other. It is a blessing to be able to count on each other.
Keep the channels of communication open. Partners should be able to express their feelings including anger and different views in a safe environment.
Have humor and laughter in your life.
Encourage and support your partner. You should be nurturing and caring for each other.
Try to keep the romance of the early years alive, but be prepared for the sober realities as well.
Remember that good marriages are not born, but they are created from the effort the partners put in. It involves learning from each other and changing one’s attitude.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006,7:37 AM
Advices To Husbands (and Wives)
Today is Nikky's birthday... ayos ba gift ko sa knya... both naman kme magbebenefit eh... wish ko lang mabasa nya... hehehe! Happy Birthday Love!
This lecture is from Sheikh Abdullah Adhami. Kya there are words na muslim... pero catholic ako ah!
By getting married you are not just getting a wife, you are getting your whole world. From now until the rest of your days your wife will be your partner, your companion, and your best friend.
She will share your moments, your days, and your years. She will share your joys and sorrows, your successes and failures, your dreams and your fears. When you are ill, she will take the best care of you; when you need help, she will do all she can for you; when you have a secret, she will keep it; when you need advice, she will give you the best advice. She will always be with you: when you wake up in the morning the first thing your eyes will see will be her; during the day, she will be with you, if for a moment she is not with you by her physical body, she will be thinking of you, praying for you with all her heart, mind, and soul; when you go to sleep at night, the last thing your eyes will see will be her; and when you are asleep you will still see her in your dreams. In short, she will be your whole world and you will be her whole world.
The best description that I personally have ever read describing the closeness of the spouses to each other is the Quranic verse which says: "they are your garments and you are their garments" Indeed, spouses are like garments to each other because they provide one another with the protection, the comfort, the cover, the support, and the adornment that garments provide to humans. Just imagine a journey in the winter of Alaska without garments! Our spouses provide us with the same level of comfort, protection, cover, and support in the journey of our lives on this earth as garments would do in the Alaska journey.
The relationship between the spouses is the most amazing of all human relations: the amount of love and affection, intimacy and closeness, mercy and compassion, peace and tranquility that fills the hearts of the spouses is simply inexplicable. The only rational explanation for these most amazing of all human feelings is that: it is an act of God. Only God Almighty in His infinite power, boundless mercy, and great wisdom can create and ingrain these amazing feelings in the hearts of the spouses. In fact God is reminding those who search for His signs in the universe that these feelings in the hearts of the spouses are among the signs that should guide humans to His existence as He says in the Quran," And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquility with them and He has put love and mercy between your hearts: verily in that are signs for those who reflect"
But the human heart is not a static entity, it is very dynamic. Feelings can and do change with time. Love may wither and fade away. The marital bond might weaken if not properly cared for. Happiness in marriage cannot be taken for granted; continuous happiness requires constant giving from both sides. For the tree of marital love to remain alive and keep growing, the soil has to be sustained, maintained, and nurtured. Remember that our Prophet Muhammad [peace be upon him] had found the time to go out to the desert and race with his wife Aisha. She outstripped him but later after she had gained some weight, he outstripped her. Remember that the Prophet [peace be upon him] took his wife to watch the young Ethiopians playing and dancing their folk dances.
The show of emotions is necessary to keep the marital bond away from rusting and disintegrating. Remember that you will be rewarded by God for any emotions you show to your wife as the Prophet [peace be upon him] said, "one would be rewarded for anything that he does seeking the pleasure of God even the food that he puts in the mouth of his wife" Never underestimate the importance of seemingly little things as putting food in your wife's mouth, opening the car's door for her, etc. Remember that the Prophet [peace be upon him] used to extend his knee to his wife to help her ride her camel.
Try to always find some time for both of you to pray together. Strengthening the bond between you and God is the best guarantee that your own marital bond would always remain strong. Having peace with God will always result in having more peace at home. Remember that the Prophet [peace be upon him] gave glad tidings for those couples who wake up at night to pray together. The Prophet even urged the spouse who rises up first to wake the other spouse up even by throwing cold water on his/her face.
Always try your best to be good to your wife by words and by deeds. Talk to her, smile to her, seek her advice, ask for her opinion, spend quality time with her and always remember that the Prophet [peace be upon him] said, "the best of you are those who are best to their wives."
Finally, it is common that spouses vow to love and honor their spouses until death do them part. I do believe that this vow is good or even great, but not enough! It is not enough that you love your wife. You have to love what she loves as well. Her family, her loved ones must also become your loved ones. Don't be like my colleague who was unhappy about his wife's parents coming to visit for few weeks. He candidly said to her "I don't like your parents." Naturally she angrily looked at him straight in the eye and said, "I don't like yours either!"
Also, it is not enough that you love her until death do you part. Love should never end and we do believe there is life after death where those who did righteousness in this world will be joined by their spouses and offspring.
Oist Nikky, read this! nyahaha!
This lecture is from Sheikh Abdullah Adhami. Kya there are words na muslim... pero catholic ako ah!
By getting married you are not just getting a wife, you are getting your whole world. From now until the rest of your days your wife will be your partner, your companion, and your best friend.
She will share your moments, your days, and your years. She will share your joys and sorrows, your successes and failures, your dreams and your fears. When you are ill, she will take the best care of you; when you need help, she will do all she can for you; when you have a secret, she will keep it; when you need advice, she will give you the best advice. She will always be with you: when you wake up in the morning the first thing your eyes will see will be her; during the day, she will be with you, if for a moment she is not with you by her physical body, she will be thinking of you, praying for you with all her heart, mind, and soul; when you go to sleep at night, the last thing your eyes will see will be her; and when you are asleep you will still see her in your dreams. In short, she will be your whole world and you will be her whole world.
The best description that I personally have ever read describing the closeness of the spouses to each other is the Quranic verse which says: "they are your garments and you are their garments" Indeed, spouses are like garments to each other because they provide one another with the protection, the comfort, the cover, the support, and the adornment that garments provide to humans. Just imagine a journey in the winter of Alaska without garments! Our spouses provide us with the same level of comfort, protection, cover, and support in the journey of our lives on this earth as garments would do in the Alaska journey.
The relationship between the spouses is the most amazing of all human relations: the amount of love and affection, intimacy and closeness, mercy and compassion, peace and tranquility that fills the hearts of the spouses is simply inexplicable. The only rational explanation for these most amazing of all human feelings is that: it is an act of God. Only God Almighty in His infinite power, boundless mercy, and great wisdom can create and ingrain these amazing feelings in the hearts of the spouses. In fact God is reminding those who search for His signs in the universe that these feelings in the hearts of the spouses are among the signs that should guide humans to His existence as He says in the Quran," And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquility with them and He has put love and mercy between your hearts: verily in that are signs for those who reflect"
But the human heart is not a static entity, it is very dynamic. Feelings can and do change with time. Love may wither and fade away. The marital bond might weaken if not properly cared for. Happiness in marriage cannot be taken for granted; continuous happiness requires constant giving from both sides. For the tree of marital love to remain alive and keep growing, the soil has to be sustained, maintained, and nurtured. Remember that our Prophet Muhammad [peace be upon him] had found the time to go out to the desert and race with his wife Aisha. She outstripped him but later after she had gained some weight, he outstripped her. Remember that the Prophet [peace be upon him] took his wife to watch the young Ethiopians playing and dancing their folk dances.
The show of emotions is necessary to keep the marital bond away from rusting and disintegrating. Remember that you will be rewarded by God for any emotions you show to your wife as the Prophet [peace be upon him] said, "one would be rewarded for anything that he does seeking the pleasure of God even the food that he puts in the mouth of his wife" Never underestimate the importance of seemingly little things as putting food in your wife's mouth, opening the car's door for her, etc. Remember that the Prophet [peace be upon him] used to extend his knee to his wife to help her ride her camel.
Try to always find some time for both of you to pray together. Strengthening the bond between you and God is the best guarantee that your own marital bond would always remain strong. Having peace with God will always result in having more peace at home. Remember that the Prophet [peace be upon him] gave glad tidings for those couples who wake up at night to pray together. The Prophet even urged the spouse who rises up first to wake the other spouse up even by throwing cold water on his/her face.
Always try your best to be good to your wife by words and by deeds. Talk to her, smile to her, seek her advice, ask for her opinion, spend quality time with her and always remember that the Prophet [peace be upon him] said, "the best of you are those who are best to their wives."
Finally, it is common that spouses vow to love and honor their spouses until death do them part. I do believe that this vow is good or even great, but not enough! It is not enough that you love your wife. You have to love what she loves as well. Her family, her loved ones must also become your loved ones. Don't be like my colleague who was unhappy about his wife's parents coming to visit for few weeks. He candidly said to her "I don't like your parents." Naturally she angrily looked at him straight in the eye and said, "I don't like yours either!"
Also, it is not enough that you love her until death do you part. Love should never end and we do believe there is life after death where those who did righteousness in this world will be joined by their spouses and offspring.
Oist Nikky, read this! nyahaha!
